I have incredible guilt. My husband and I need to fix up our home. It is fully functional, just outdated and in need of a makeover. We need to gut our bathrooms, gut our kitchen, do something with our floors, either hardwood or recarpet, replace the back windows and sliding glass doors. My husband gets frustrated because he says that it is a man's job to be able to provide for his family and he can't afford to do all the things that need to be done in our home. We both work. I work four days a week, he works five and tons of overtime which he doesn't get paid for since he is in management. What he doesn't understand is that I, even though I was raised with a "stay at home" mom, feel that I have to provide for the family too. So, as he kept taking pay cuts, I believe three in the past ten years, to keep his company above water, I kept taking on more bills. His company ended up outsourcing his department and we lost our entire pension, almost $100,000.00, along with some very good benefits. Basically, it hasn't been a very good six or seven years financially around our house. So, over the years, I have taken on the car insurance bill, then the telephone bill, then the cell phone bill and I now pay all of the bills in our home except for the mortgage, property tax, homeowner's insurance and two car payments. We have completely separate money and we have to cover our own bills. I feel as if I should work more, take a second job, something to help pay for the things that need doing in the house. I know my husband doesn't understand this as he is the "man of the house." The more he complains about the things that need doing, the more anxious and stressed out I get that I don't have the money to pay for the things that need doing. I wish he would understand how talking about it constantly is only going to stress us out and is not going to get us anywhere. I'm wondering if any other wives, significant others, feel this way. Are women raised completely differently now and feel they should shoulder the same financial burden, responsibility, anxiety that men do? I wish I could help with the things that need doing to this house, but sometimes, especially if Drew has extra expenses, clothes, sports dues, birthday parties, I just don't have anything left over from my pay check. How can I make my husband understand that I shoulder this burden too and that the more he talks about it, the more stressed out I get?